Waiting For The Sun In Room 5112.

Have you ever been up at 6:30 am, after a night of no rest, looking out the window and begging God to let the sun come up just a little early? I have.

This is how my weekend of waiting for the Sun went:

Saturday: I had an amazing Jewelry party with Premier Designs for my friend Shelly. And then we got home, and were relaxing. I hadn't slept well and wasn't really feeling good. My mom told me they were going to be bringing in Hospice for my Nana ... This is where my hopeless feeling of darkness began. Later that night, mom called and said, "Jen, I just wanted you to know ... we are on our way to Sutter with Nana again. They said she has an infection called 'C Diff' (which is a short phrase for a long medical word that I tried to pronounce and couldn't). I'll call you if there is a reason to come" Click. So, let's just say after a few hours, I was leaving the house frantically praying for God to let her wait till I got there.

When I got to the hospital, we went to her little room in the ER. She was barely lucid. She was shaking and in severe pain... They had started her on morphine. Even my cousin, Mark and his wife Jade came to see her. If you know Mark, you know that it is a huge deal that he came. He held her hand, and told her he loved her. He didn't stay long, and we all understood.

     When they moved her to her room, we all knew it probably wouldn't be long ... This is where I am going to do a shout out to all of the nursing and doctor staff at Sutter! Holy COW! They were absolutely amazing. They brought us anything we needed, and cared greatly for my Nana. I have never been so impressed. They knew what they were doing, and they had incredible bedside manner. I love you all so much, you made this so much easier for us. So, back to my story. So we sat, and we waited. I have her breathing etched in my memory. Ready for any change, ready to do whatever it was to make her more comfortable. We waited.

This is the part of the story where we waited. and waited. and waited. and waited. Dad, Mom, Aunt Donna, and Uncle Arlie were all snoring really loud. They were all sleeping ... not well, but sleeping. I couldn't. All I could do is pray, sing and cry. Letting it all out, talking to her. Comforting her. Letting her know we would be there till the end, whenever that was. And I waited longer, waiting for the sun to come up.

Sunday: Sunday morning, everyone was awake as the sun finally came up. 7 am. I wanted to sleep, and since everyone was awake I felt like I could, cause someone else would be there to help her if she started shaking again. My mom told me to go home and get some clothes and try to nap. So I headed for home, took a shower, packed a bag, slept for 3 hours and then went back to the hospital. I didn't sleep again until 7am, I was waiting for the sun.

Monday: I slept until 10 am. Apparently I sleep so deep, that the doctors were making fun of me... People came and went and came and went and I slept on. Nana had her eyes open, not really SEEING anyone but looking at them. She was clearly in pain, so they started a morphine drip around 10 or 11 pm. After she was clearly OUT of pain and resting, I sat by the window .. waiting for the sun.

Tuesday morning at 7am was my time to sleep again. I slept until 10 .. again. It seems like Tuesday was the day of "again"'s. I was up, and talking to my aunt and uncle, and talking to my Nana .. whether she was listening to me or not, I'm not sure. Mom brought us lunch when Nana's breathing began to slow. I laid back down to try to get a little rest. My head had been hurting and I was trying to get rid of the headache. Mom woke me up, and said I needed to come by the bed. She took her last 2 breaths ...

At 4:19 pm yesterday, my Nana was healed of her Alzheimer's. Her hip was healed, her knee's were healed, her infection was healed, and her internal bleeding was healed. Her mind was made clear and she saw Jesus, and her husband who she missed so much, my Papa Bill.


She's home.


♥ I love you Nana. You were always so ornery, so hard headed and so stubborn. I guess I've learned to take my cues from you. We butted heads, we danced in the car, we walked around the block, we sang, we laughed and we cried. You were one of my favorite people in the whole entire world. I always felt so close to you. I always knew you would be there for me whenever I needed you... When your mind started slipping, I could feel it, almost physically. I prayed and prayed, we had seen it healed before. We know God still works miracles. But for whatever reason, He saw fit to have you walk through this.

I have such a sense of relief for her, for us. It seems selfish to say, but I know it's true. I know we aren't the first family to feel the relief of the healing of such an aweful disease, and we won't be the last. There is nothing worse than losing your mind, and then getting sick on top of it with several other things. I believe that there is hope for future Alzheimer's patients. I believe that there will be a cure one day, just as I believe that there will be a cure for cancer.

God healed my Nana in a way that no earthly person could. He paid the ULTIMATE price for her, and restored her to glory.

Nana, Boot Scoot & Boogie you're way through those gold streets. I love you. I love you. I love you.


Rest in Peace, Colene Mooney :: August 21, 1927 - March 20, 2012.


Stay Lovely,

Your Little Pill, Jennifer.

Spiritual Emphasis.

At CCHS there is 2 weeks out of the year, solely devoted to "Spiritual Emphasis". It's been a long time since I have been involved in one... but my senior year was radically changed and impacted by the second week. The first is at the beginning of the school year, and the second is near the end. Today was the first day of the second week, and I sat here during class wondering if what is being said is sinking into these kids.

I have the privileged to serve in a great capacity at this school, with the choir & drama department, more the choir, but occasionally the drama. This school and all the students in it are near and dear to my heart. As an alumni, I think I may be biased. However, some of the students absolutely break my heart. .... I see a lost and confused generation that wants to life self-servingly instead of self-less. I really wish I could reach out to them, but then, I sometimes feel like my hands are tied. They trust me, which is a fact that I am greatly thankful for.

This week, they are showing "The Passion of the Christ".... as they were walking out of Chapel, I looked at their faces, and there was a sad look in their eyes, a quiet reverence, no one spoke. I wonder if this will change a few of their minds. I wonder if they will truly take on the calling that is placed upon them. I wonder if they will fully experience God's love and mercy that is life changing, life sustainable and life giving. My heart broke as several left laughing, going on about their business. Untouched, unapologetic, totally and completely unaware. That's how it came across from the outside. The inside? Is there good ground there to plant a seed? Or is it thorny? or shallow?

My prayer is that God would provide good soil for the seed of his LOVE to fall on. That they would understand His forgiveness and grace isn't something they deserve or they should come to expect. But that His grace and forgiveness and love and mercy are all GIFTS that we are to receive humbly. Its not about us anymore, beloveds! It's about the One who saved us from destruction!!

Pray for these kids this week, pray they will have eyes to see and ears to hear. And a mouth that will sing, and boast of the good God has done.

       Stay Lovely,
                      Jennifer.

"Meet Me At The Cross"

Tonight we had the amazing privilege to meet a young woman named Savannah. She's 13. She goes to a middle school in the area. She was at Capital, looking for her friend who had run away. She told her to meet her at the cross. She was asking people as they came out from Musicale if they had seen her, but everyone had said no and kept on about their way. We stopped and helped her look for about an hour, with the help of some people left on campus. (Thank you Bo and Epic staff). We sang, talked about the Lord and laughed, as we searched for Jessica. Savannah was bold, brave and strong. She declared that she would keep searching, till she found her friend. She was cold, hungry and tired. This girl was THIRTEEN!!!!!! What the heck? All I could think of was "Where is this girls mom? Her dad? Where is someone who loves her? To hug her and let her know it would be ok, and she would be taken care of?" I heard a small voice on the wind, saying "You. You hug her. You let her know. You help her. You warm her. You make her laugh. You reach her. You love her".

I thought of the most dangerous thing that could have happened, if we took her home. I thought, an abusive father, not happy that some Christian lady with no shoes on brought his daughter home. A drunk mother, again, not happy. I thought of the neighborhood we would be taking her home to, and didn't know what would await me there and yet I heard it again "Go. You, go". So, we did.

I drove up to the apartment and parked on the side of the road. There were some men walking towards us, for some reason I felt brave and confident. "No weapon formed against me shall prosper". I walked her to her door and the mom answered. I braced myself for what was going to happen, and my fear was literally spawned from nothing. The mom had some kind of disease where her hands were slightly drawn in. Her glasses were like coke bottles. Her daughter, Jessica was standing beside of her. Savannah was SO relieved to see her friend.

I gave them an encouraging Word, told them I loved them and gave them my number.

What I didn't mention, is that Savannah didn't even know Jessica's last name. She didn't know her moms name. Didn't know her phone number. Didn't know ANYTHING about her friend. She had met her at school the week before. Savannah was willing to risk her health and safety to find a friend who was lost. And she simply said "Meet me at the cross".

We should all be like this, willing to find our lost friends.

I am so thankful for Gods grace and His love and His timing.
Please pray for this family ... God knows what they need ♥

Stay Lovely,
Jennifer.