The Ache.

Have you ever had your heart feel like it's being ripped out of your chest and crushed? That's where I'm at and I have no idea why.

My heart feels tight, achy. I miss having friends around me, people I can text at midnight and spill my guts about how I feel lonely, tired, and drained. I miss having people that have known me for years. I wish I had some childhood friends.

I love the friends I have in my life. But I'm scared I'm going to end up alone. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why I have a pit in my heart the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm alone.

I'm not usually one to complain about my feelings, let alone show people how the sad part of my heart is actually quite a bit larger than the sunny part.

The truth is: I'm a little more dark and twistie than bright and shiny. Not on all days, but I am, in fact, very good at blowing the clouds away for a short time so the sun can come out and play.

The other truth: is that I like it when it rains.

Adventure.

Over the next few months, I will be taking a hug step towards becoming the woman God is calling me to be. To walk in the plans that He has laid out for me. To be obedient to His Word and His Calling. To listen to what He is speaking to me. I fully and wholly dedicate this year to Him.

I will choose to believe God has joy, love and laughter for me. That He has amazing plans and a purpose for me. I CHOOSE to believe that there is provision, healing and safety in Him.

I don't want to spend another day filled with fear of the future and filled with uncertainty. God IS good. And we WILL win.

I choose God.
I choose love.
I choose life.

Stay lovely,
Jennifer.